I know more than I can or ought to say about this matter, but that has been a deeply personal journey. You should take that same journey. I do not want to rob you of discovery. Therefore, let me reiterate that this is a worthy topic and ought to be something you take to the Lord and inquire of Him. He can make it plain to you, only if you are prepared to receive it.
What is required to qualify us for the kingdom of Heaven is driven by what we each lack. In each person that is different. However, the final standard is the same for all of us.
Do not think a merciful and self-sacrificing Lord, who endured infinite suffering to redeem you, has any intention of disappointing you, much less of making you miserable. He will exalt you. But you cannot be as He is without first learning to trust Him and then to follow Him. He descended below it all. Are you greater than He? (D&C 122: 8.)
Man is incomplete. Woman is incomplete. The “image of God” is both male and female. (Gen. 1: 27.)
There is a reason for this necessity of both the man and woman to complete the image of God. The capacity of one is different from the other. Without betraying too much, I will close by saying this, which if you were to understand you would know more about God than you do at present:
The role of the man is knowledge.
The role of the woman is wisdom.
These are eternal, and not merely found here.
Even the names of God reflect these separate roles and the scriptures associate wisdom with the feminine. Underlying this are things which we are only shown to the faithful when we have first become more like God.
There is nothing to your lamentation and complaints that God will not provide a more than adequate reward for enduring. God will not leave you comfortless on this issue any more than He will on any subject which causes you tears. They will all be wiped away. (Rev. 7: 17.) You need to develop the faith to trust Him. He will not disappoint you.
Each of us needs to find God. Then we should lead our spouse to Him likewise. There is a lifetime of effort required to do so.