Two ships pass in the night

Dialogue between two ships passing in the night.  [Intended as humor, because so far as I know ships do not speak with one another]:
USS Saint:  “I know the Church is true.”
HMS Midevil:  “Beg pardon, how’s that?”
USS Saint:  “I know the Church is true.”
HMS Midevil:  “Which?  .. or is it all?”
USS Saint:  “The Latter-day Saints, of course.”

HMS:  “By that do you mean to suggest that the Printing Services Division of the Materials Management Department is somehow ‘true’ as you say?”

USS:  “Um, well, yes I suppose.”
HMS:  “In what sense.  ‘True’ meaning that it exists? or ‘True” in some other meaning of the word?”
USS:  “I mean led by a Prophet of God, therefore imbued with the will of God Almighty in all respects.”
HMS:  “So not that it is ‘True’ in a metaphysical sense of existence on a higher plane, or bearing some corporeality, but somehow inerrant.  Is that what you are saying?  And, if so, does that preclude printing errors?  Because if it means avoidance of printing errors well, then they ought to take a larger role in the publishing industry than simply providing grist for the Materials Management Department.”
USS:  “Since a prophet is only a prophet when acting as such, I would not attribute inerrancy to the truthfulness of the Printing Services Division of the Materials Management Department; but I would rather say that what they do is Inspired.  I do suspect, however, there may be occasional printing errors.”
HMS:  “Inspired in the sense of the word meaning that it’s output is somehow delightful and uplifting?  Or in the sense of ‘perfection itself’?  But, then again, you’ve conceded the possibility of printing errors, so ‘perfection itself’ seems not to be included then.  So I presume that you mean when you read the output of the printing of this Division of that Department it somehow inspires you to be a better ship, then?  Perhaps somewhat of a worShip?”
USS:  “I can see that you are not prepared to grasp the truth of my testimony as yet.  So let me just warn you that you’re going to hell.”
HMS:  “Atlantic City, rather.”

USS:  “What?”

HMS:  “I’m sailing to Atlantic City.  Though it might be called ‘hell’ with some validity I suppose.”

6 thoughts on “Two ships pass in the night

  1. By the way, there really is a Printing Services Division of the Materials Management Department for the Church. I looked them up in the Salt Lake phone book.

  2. Recently the thought came to me… as a youth, it seems like there was a lot of emphasis put on “proving” that the Book of Mormon was true. It was based on questions like: were there really horses and elephants and copper in the pre-Columbian world? Are there areas in Central/North America that correspond with the geography described in the Book of Mormon? Could an uneducated young man like Joseph Smith really have made up such profound and complex teachings and stories? Etc. etc. Even if one point was proven in my mind, there were always a million more to tackle.

    Then, just in the last couple of years, I started thinking beyond that. “Okay, it’s true. Now what? What does that mean?” I am still working on the answer to that one (I guess a late start is better than none). But it makes me see the parallels with how we claim the Church to be true.

    Imagine if I were to get up on day in testimony meeting and say, “I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that there really were horses on this land, and if you matched up certain modern Jews and tribes of Native Americans, their DNA would match closely (plus or minus 14%, which is well within the margins of error), yada yada.” So what?

    It seems much of my life, I have been saying exactly that. I guess it’s time to finish climbing the foothill of “the church is true” and see what expansive mountain ranges lie on the other side.


  3. Ha, Denver, loved it! I have a testimony of the absolute beauty and truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And, I am so grateful for the vehicle of the “Church” that helps deliver it to us.

  4. I make it easy for my kids. When we practice testimonies, I encourage them to say “I know this is the gospel of Jesus Christ” instead of “I know this church is true”. Makes it easier and more accurate…

  5. I guess I don’t have as much trouble saying I know that the “Church is true” as some folks do. Do I realize the Church isn’t perfect? Yes. Are there programs I hope one day will change or go away? Yes. Is it the one organization that has the Lord’s stamp of approval as a Church? Yes.

    “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth”

    If the Lord himself can call the church “true,” I’m not sure why its a problem if others call it that, too.

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