We are made in the image of God which includes everything from cell division to emotions. To deal with all issues associated with being human, God has given us a lot of resources to take care of our needs. We try to have healthy habits, we have modern medicine, and other miraculous resources to support us. Less used, but no less important, God has given us access to: music, art, nature, creativity, breath, prayer, mindfulness, meditation, silence, nutrition, awareness, the nervous system, stories, poetry, myths, fables, metaphor, symbolism, ritual, books, skills, feelings, cognitions, Christ, the Spirit, resources for learning (podcasts, apps, social media, etc.). These things exist for our benefit. Utilizing these, we can be more present, less stressed, reduce fear, increase resilience, be more grateful, tolerate more and avoid less.
“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’” Eckhart Tolle
I hear that a lot of you in this moment do not want to be involved in this dispute. You do not want to be “here.” You want to be “there.” I have heard from some of you directly, and some peripherally.
I get emails, text messages, personal proposals, ChatGPT analysis, and chastisements from you about this conference. These communications include quotes from Denver, scripture passages, glossary terms along with explanations and personal analysis about how we “shouldn’t be here” and “it’s wrong.” Many of you have spent a great deal of time in these efforts. I understand that you believe these things deeply. You are kind, gentle, and write and speak with as much of the Spirit as you can muster. All this effort appears to be directed towards the discomfort and fear about the unavoidable experiences of disputing, contention, or conflict.
I have heard you claim “faith over fear.” I get that. However, I still see more fear than faith – probably unconscious.
“I hate this.”
“Please stop.”
“Can’t we all get along.”
“Why are we here?”
“Avoid disputes.”
“Contention is bad.”
“We/they are doing it wrong.”
Scriptures are informative and inspirational. I see how deeply invested some of you are in trying to fit this situation into your personal understanding of revelations, scripture, glossary terms and what you think Denver said or meant. Ironically, that is in part why we are here – personal interpretation of scripture.
It is entirely naive and overly simplistic to just NOT WANT CONFLICTS OR DISPUTES. Perhaps the scriptures, Denver’s blog posts, glossary terms and whatever else is being used to analyze this are applicable to a group of people who are a more advanced, charitable, or civilized group of people.
That is not us . . . YET.
To the extent that we think we are “a Zion People/Covenant People/Remnant Group” already, we give ourselves an out and avoid, at all costs, working through our disputes, conflict, and contention (which do exist). We may be dismissing, as evil, insignificant, the lesser law, unimportant, and ungodly, the very opportunities God has, is and will continue to provide to civilize us.
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I will learn.” Benjamin Franklin.
This is called experiential learning. This is a powerful way to learn. God values experiential learning as much as he values any other type of learning. One is not better. Experiential learning honors agency. Many of you are actively and passionately asking Denver and I to take away people’s agency, fix this, intervene, make it go away. That is Satan’s plan.
How do we expect to become qualified or capable to be part of God’s City of Peace? Can we ask ourselves these questions? What qualifies me? How did I obtain those qualities? Was it challenging? Was it easy? How do I know I am qualified? What was my curriculum? Is it something I can share? Can I teach others? Is there a space where we are supposed to learn together? What is that space?
I believe that this Women’s Conference is one of those spaces. There will be others.
Remember: “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ and wanting to be ‘there.’”
Many of you want to be somewhere else, a place that does not exist yet because we haven’t built it. We haven’t built it in ourselves, in our families, in our fellowships and certainly not as a large body. I think it’s because we aren’t willing to get our hands dirty to make the materials needed for building. Emotional regulation, active listening, reflection, communicating, validation, compassion, forgiveness, accountability, awareness, presence, faith, learning and practicing new skills, spirituality, scriptures, prayer, and increased abilities are some of the materials we need to have in order to build this thing. I have spent the last 4 years working to teach these building blocks.
I am not experiencing this situation the same way many of you are. I do not feel a lot of motivation to fix anything or stepping in and taking away people’s agency.
You are weary of the conflict. I am weary of the effort being expended in avoiding the conflict.
I haven’t heard or read much from any women explaining to each other how you are using mindfulness to stay present and engaged. I haven’t heard many of you speaking appreciatively of what things you are learning from this (radical acceptance). I know some of you are using skills, but not many unless avoid, avoid, avoid is a skill. I haven’t heard anyone admit openly what you are afraid of, or acknowledge the truth or reality of fear being at the center of all of this (distress tolerance, mindfulness, self-awareness).
I hear a lot of cognitive distortions, thinking errors, future-tripping, catastrophizing, personalizing, emotional reasoning, and on and on. Do you see them? Do you know you have them and they are impacting the very way you are interacting with this situation? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Can you tolerate the worst-case scenario? Why or why not? Are you using your distress tolerance skills?
The Zion and peace we are hoping for is not a top-down endeavor. It will not happen by wishing people would just get along. It will not happen by straining our assumptions through scripture. It might happen if we engage in individual interactions with skill, compassion, empathy, love, competence and reason. Have your interactions concerning this conference shown the peace you are asking Denver and I to enforce? Have the emails you have sent to one another, the conference organizers, the women of the council? Your large group emails? The texts you have between yourselves? Your comments and chats during Zoom calls? Have you “measured your words”, “considered the hearts of others” “regarded one another with charity” in all your interactions? (T&C 157:53). Have your interpersonal effectiveness skills been helpful with this?
Whose work is this? Is it collaborative? Is it individual? Us vs. them? God vs. us? God with us? I know what I believe and I know what type of work I am willing to do to prove my devotion to God and Their desires.
I will end with my sincere prayer that God blesses you with the thing you need most, right now in this moment.