I have been thinking a lot lately about Abraham and Sarah and their relationship. Their story is one of the greatest in history.
Little details in the story are touching. The “ten years” that Sarah waited (Gen. 16: 3) before urging Abraham to father a child with Hagar is based upon a custom at the time. Abraham’s willingness to follow the custom was because the Lord promised him children, Sarah could not conceive and Sarah urged him to do so. In fact, of the three, Sarah’s urging was what seems to persuade Abraham. Her urging is tempered by making it seem she is looking out for her own interests: “it may be that I (Sarah) may obtain children by her.” (Gen. 16: 2.) This softens the request, makes it a blessing for Sarah, and casts it in terms which do not belittle or dismiss Sarah. Then, as the account reads: “Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.” (Gen. 16: 2.)
Abraham was willing to wait on the Lord’s promises of children. He was willing to forego the customs that allowed a man to take another wife. It was Sarah’s gentle persuasion that convinced Abraham to take Hagar. Sarah was loved by Abraham with his whole heart. It was this great marriage relationship that allowed the Lord to preserve them as the parents of “all righteous.” A new Adam for the Lord’s covenant people. And, of course, there cannot be an Adam without an Eve. Sarah becomes the “Mother of All Righteous.”
This is more critical than most people recognize. It was because of this important relationship that the tenth parable in Ten Parables begins with the marriage relationship. Without this, there was no reason to save the man.
Marriage is separate from its two parties. It has a life of its own. The husband and the wife may be parties to the marriage, but the marriage itself is a separate and living thing. It is distinct from the two partners in the relationship, and greater than either of them. It lives. It is real.
The only people whose right to eternal life has been secured, to my knowledge, came as a result of the marriage relationship and its worthiness to be preserved into eternity. Neither is the man without the woman nor the woman without the man in the Lord. Therefore, if you are interested in eternal life, the very first place to begin is inside your marriage.
Are you saying one’s calling and election can only be obtained as a ‘couple’?
What of all the good people out there in, shall we say, an “unequally yoked” marriage?
Denver,
Thank you for your beautiful post. I am sitting here at work holding back tears thinking of my wonderful wife and all of the sacrifices she has made in behalf of our marriage. I have learned so much about what it is to be Christlike from her. When I have struggled, I know she has made intercession for me (as I do for her at times) with our Heavenly Father, and I am here because of the Saviors and Her Grace.
From the moment we meet it has been a relationship that is completely different. It is Greater than both of us. I kid with others about “love at first sight”, but when I saw her (my friend Will Groberg was there, he will also testify to this) we looked at each other and knew each other.
When we were sealed, we were given the knowledge that we were sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. THAT Knowledge has blessed us to endure the worst trials that I could have ever imagined. Knowing we had already recieved this gave me the hope I needed to pick myself up every time I had a personal struggle.
I love my wife and I KNOW she loves me with everything. She has sacrificed her ALL to keep our marriage alive.
Thanks again for a sweet and wonderful reminder of the Elect Lady in my life.
Thank you Denver for your beautiful answer. I have taken so much of your time with my questions. Also, I’m glad it took you a day or so to answer (even though I felt impatient) because it forced me to contemplate on it quite a bit , in which time I have come to understand much of what you expressed. God continue to bless you.
I believe this is my favorite post so far…just sayin’. Thanks.
Is it your opinion, that if Sarah had known Isaac would eventually come through her, she would have entertained the idea of Hagar having a child with Abraham for one teeny second?
Wonderful post! True Everlasting Love for our spouse is what makes us worthy of Exaltation. For if one does not have True Love, its proof they haven’t kept their covenants or the commandments & do not have the Holy Spirit. True Love is the proof of righteousness. Very few ever attain this or even believe in this today. But it is the highest of all virtues, principles & powers. True Love by even just one spouse can make any marriage eternal, no matter what the other spouse may feel or do in this life. True Love & Eternal Marriage is the foundation of the Universe.
Abraham & Sarah surely seemed to have this True Love. Abraham put Sarah & her feelings & welfare above his own desires, needs & concerns. He only entered & lived plural marriage because Sarah asked him to & consented to it. He even let her decide who & when it would happen with, another evidence of his True Love & humility, though worldly custom would have allowed him to get away with handling it himself.
But a righteous man would rather die than hurt his wife in any way, especially by taking another wife. Plural marriage is one of the most painful trials known to women, which caused even the greatest of women to suffer unspeakably, at least here in mortality. After this life it will be different. But a righteous man would not have any desires to live plural marriage or to have more than one wife, anymore than Abraham desired to sacrifice his son. Righteous men do not want to sacrifice their wife’s heart in plural marriage.
Only if his wife asked him to live it, because God commanded it, would he do so. And a righteous man would have his wife decide if he was righteous enough & loved her enough to live it & when & who it would be with, whoever she could feel best & comfortable with, as Abraham did for Sarah.
We each have a sacrifice to make, a big one, for a marriage to work or to become exalted. The process of making a marriage work perfects us.
Is the traditional allowance of 10 years for a spouse to become pregnant part of the “Law of Sarah” referred to in D&C 132:65?