Religion is a terrible thing when it is sold like a product by an institution trying to profit by claiming ownership of the rights. Faith in Christ is a wonderful, liberating thing.
When Paul was called directly by the Lord, it was as if Christ were proclaiming His independence from the very movement He had launched by calling Twelve Apostles. It is apparent the Lord wanted to affirm that He alone would be involved in how His faith would roll forward. This independently called Apostle witness then proceeded to write two-thirds of the books of the New Testament. Christianity is Pauline, even if the Catholic tradition claims to be Petrine.
When the Lord rose from the dead, He visited with women first, then with two men who were not His Apostles. His Apostles were told, but they didn’t believe these women. (Luke 24: 1-11.) Then when He came to visit with the Apostles, He criticized them for failing to respect the women’s testimony of His resurrection. (Mark 16: 14.)
The Lord’s behavior was (and still is) uncontrollable by institutional constraint. That is a very hard thing for some good people to comprehend. After all, in a revelation, the Lord said the restoration through Joseph Smith was the “last time” he would be giving in the “last days.” (D&C 112: 30.) But, then again, the same Lord, speaking through the same prophet in another transcript from heaven itself, used the word “last” to mean “most current” or “latest” rather than precluding another. (D&C 76: 22.) And we confront the Lord’s word usage of “Endless” and “Eternal” as proper nouns, meaning “God’s” rather than an adjective meaning “forever.”
It is a rule that the Lord’s house is a “house of order.” But what if the “house” about which He speaks is not institutional, but familial? (See, e.g., D&C 132: 18.) He established a system to replace Apostles in His church, right? And that system remains in place, right? It is like the one in His original New Testament organization, right? That system allowed the remaining Apostles to vote and replace the deceased Judas. (See, Acts 1: 21-26.) But then He alone called Paul without consulting with the Twelve. (Acts 9: 3-15; see also Gal. 1: 1.)
What if the Lord’s “house of order” can only be established by Him, directly? Something with fewer moving parts, no one in charge except for the “keeper of the gate” who cannot be deceived in a worthiness interview? (2 Ne. 9: 41.) That would remove doubt from all our minds about whether anyone gets included or excluded based on man’s judgment.
How do we make sense of what God is up to at any given moment? He always allows Himself to speak yet more. Alma explained, I think, how God works: “It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God… he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.” (Alma 12: 9-10.) So God gets to talk. To anyone at any time. Even to women. Before the Twelve. And He gets to condemn the Twelve because they didn’t believe the women.
Faith in Christ is liberating because Christ is the final authority and power. Fear is the opposite of faith. Christ invites and entices to do good by His great love for us. When the god of this world tries to reign with blood and horror, constantly reminding you to be fearful and cower, you are sensing the bitterness of hell itself. (Moses 1: 20.) Remember the Lord’s tools and even the Lord Himself are the opposite. (1 John 4: 8.) Be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. (John 16: 33.) Have faith in Him and doubt not because He lives. I know for I have seen Him.